Dating post-divorce is always a discussed topic. People often feel alone and they think they’re the only people dating over 40. Obviously, that’s not true. More than half the marriages in the nation won’t last, and more than 75% in California won’t last. So if you’re older, single and dating in Orange County, just know that there are tons of others just like you all around.
According to Match, seventy-five percent of women and 81 percent of men say that they are experiencing dating success. However, the game has changed a lot. So you should start learning the new dating rules. Divorce coach Terri Sloane outlined these five dating mistakes to avoid:
Dating too soon after the divorce: Don’t divorce just because your ex has a new girlfriend or boyfriend. It’s, unfortunately, a common reaction to get revenge or try to keep up, but it isn’t worth it. Dating can be an overwhelming experience, your self-esteem may be down, and you truly just not be ready to develop feelings for someone else.
Being afraid to go solo: If you’re looking to meet someone to date, the best way to go anywhere is to go solo. Going with a group of friends may seem safer, but people will be much less likely to talk to you. You can even practice going places alone. Go to a class, a movie, or a concert alone and see if you’re ok. It’s uncomfortable at first and takes practice, but know that it may be the best dating decision you make.
Being someone other than your genuine self on a first date: A common misunderstanding is that because your marriage didn’t work, your personality or the things that make you “you” won’t work in another relationship. That is definitely not true, so don’t try to be someone else. You’ll feel uncomfortable in the long run, or you’ll let someone down when they realize you’re not being true to yourself.
Breaking plans to date: Don’t blow off other people to date. Your friends, family and work commitments are still important and there is no reason to rush dating. Date when you can, but don’t put that as the highest priority in your life.
Burning bridges because you’re not into it: You may not feel the “incredible chemistry” on the first date. Some relationships instantly feel magical, and some take a few dates. Be patient. And if you don’t feel the sparks after a few, see if you can be friends. Some men aren’t ok with that, but some are surprisingly happy to make a new friend.
