For many people, this Christmas may be the first holiday time spent as a single person in many years. While the holidays are a great time of joy and happiness, they can also be a time of sadness and challenges for many. Joanie Winberg, CEO of the Association of Divorce from Women and Children recently shared these tips about surviving the holidays as a newly single person:
1) Focus on what is working. If you’re too focused on the “if onlys” and “what ifs”, negative thoughts will consume your mind and you won’t be able to enjoy the holidays at all. The first step is recognizing those negative thoughts and being aware when you have them. Focus your energy on good, positive thoughts. Focus your contributions toward the happiness of others.
2) Start new traditions. It’s important to surround yourself with friends and family, especially during the holiday season. You could plan a potluck gathering and have each person bring a new friend and a dish to your house.
3) Know that you are good enough. Negative feelings about being unworthy are common during the holidays. Know that you are absolutely worthy of all the love and adoration of another individual. Make a list of the top 10 things you love about yourself.
4) Live your dreams. Bitterness can rob you of the ability to move forward with your life after a divorce. Make a dream collage, goals and a path to all of your dreams. Make it a family project by including your children.
5) Trust your gut. Feeling emotionally distraught makes it challenging to make decisions during the holidays. Learn to let go and trust your feelings. Learn to be still– which is surprisingly hard for many people. Be kind, gentle and patient with yourself. Your body needs to recover emotionally from the divorce, but that doesn’t mean you’re dead. You’re still very much alive and have the potential to have a wonderful holiday season with friends and loved ones.