Bohm Wildish: California Divorce Law
Maria Shriver and Arnold Schwarzenegger spent Arnold’s 64th birthday and this past Christmas together with their four children, Katherine, Christina, Patrick and Christopher. The celebrity Extra website reports, “Children and family come first,” a source close to the estranged couple told People earlier this year, with an additional insider adding, “Arnold and Maria will always come together when it comes to supporting and loving their children.”
Cooperative co-parenting with your ex is not necessarily easy, but is definitely worth the effort. With attention and commitment, it gives children a sense of stability and reinforces their close relationships with both parents. Your marriage may be over, but your family is not ever over. Your children and future grandchildren are priority one. Children should understand that they are more important than the circumstances that ended the marriage, and also that your mutual love for them will endure regardless of changing conditions.
Take the time to establish a positive co-parenting plan during and after your divorce.
Your children will:
- Feel loved. With both parents choosing to compromise for the sake of their love for their children, the kids grow up knowing they are treasured.
- Adjust more quickly to changes in their environment. When they know they are being cared for, they respond with good behavior.
- Feel safe and protected. This security leads to confidence and higher self-esteem.
- Gain strength from consistent expectations. With a co-parenting plan in place, one that has similar rewards, rules and discipline between homes, children know what to expect, as well as what is expected of them.
- Have role models. As co-parents you both are able to step up your negotiating and problem-solving skills. Your children may take these same skill sets into their adult life.
Putting your children’s needs before your own–and truly accepting who’s the adult in the situation is a big first step to successful co-parenting.