Humans are designed to experience a wide range of emotions in various circumstances. One of the emotions that shield us from dangerous circumstances is anger. As a result, during your marriage, you and your spouse will argue.
Nonetheless, it is a reason for caution if you are married to someone with anger management problems. Dealing with it may be draining and frustrating. It can degrade both your physical and emotional well-being.
It can occasionally feel overwhelming to be in a relationship with an angry spouse, especially if there seems to be continual hostility or negativity present. But, assistance is available for conquering the rage that results from questioning your spouse’s constant rage. People occasionally gain more advantages from talking about the causes of their rage in a secure, comfortable setting.
You may use other methods to educate yourself on good relationships and dealing with your partner’s rage. Spending time in therapy may be valuable for many couples with relationship issues. Still, there are other approaches you can take to improve your relationship either or get out of it. Let’s dig deeper into this post to find out more.
How Do You Define Anger?
First, let’s understand anger. It’s a feeling that’s commonly misconstrued. For starters, anger is not a bad feeling. Some believe that becoming angry makes them horrible people and view anger as wrong or evil. Some people feel that rage is the antithesis of love and has no place in a close, intimate relationship.
Another widespread but false assumption is that harboring resentment towards someone means that you detest them. Indeed, being furious is neither terrible nor malicious. Feelings of rage are neither good nor bad. In the Dalai Lama’s insightful words, “In general, if a human never exhibits anger, then I think something’s wrong. Their mental health is not good. The same can be said about an angry partner.
3 Reasons Anger Stems In Your Relationship
Anger is a healthy, familiar feeling that can neither be good nor negative. It signals that a situation is distressing, unfair, or dangerous, just like any other emotion.
Yet, if your partner’s automatic response to rage is to erupt in wrath, that message is never allowed to be sent. Therefore, even though it’s pretty acceptable for them to feel furious after being mistreated or harmed, anger becomes an issue when expressed in a way that endangers you or others. Here are three reasons your partner may be angry or resentful towards you.
Trying to be Correct All the Time
Someone comes out as conceited when they claim they are always correct. You’re forcing your worldview on your partner. For example, if they expect you to handle the toothpaste in a particular manner, fold the clothes, or empty the dishwasher. There are several ways to climb the peak.
They need to invoke the right to go about things their way. Professionals advise speaking out the right away rather than letting your emotions linger. The longer you wait, the more probable that animosity will fester and burst into a dispute over something trivial.
Feeling Depressed
Hurtful comments and taunts are offensive. Your partner needs to recognize what sets off their triggers. Some people unintentionally incite their rage. Thinking about your intentions might stop resentment in its tracks. But, their anger could be a message if you intentionally target their triggers while knowing what they are.
Don’t disregard the message. If your spouse consistently makes you feel unimportant, that may be a clue that they are not a good fit for your life. You may avoid emotional distress by viewing other people’s characters and behaviors clearly.
Unrealistic Expectations
Let’s assume your significant other expects you to purchase a romantic present, and you don’t. You’ve set them up for feeling resentful if it’s not in your character to do anything like that. Instead, they should try modifying their expectations. You could be expressing your gratitude differently.
How to Handle An Angry Partner
When your spouse is furious with you, it is normal to feel angry at them. We all respond automatically and with anger when someone is upset with us. Our first unreasonable response is, “Don’t be mad at me! Don’t speak out! I’m not interested in what you have to say! Said anger breeds more anger. Said this isn’t dramatic. Don’t skip over your initial rage once again. If you don’t, it will linger and negatively impact your relationship with your partner.
You increase your power when you don’t let someone poke you into acting in a way you don’t like. Ensure you don’t lash out in rage regarding how you react to your partner. Avoid employing the sneaky strategy common with couples—saying the exact thing that would irritate and enrage your spouse. You can avoid falling for the bait when your spouse employs this strategy.
Maintain your respect for your partner. Try to put your rage aside to listen and comprehend what they are saying and experiencing. Regardless of how your spouse acts, stay the person you want to be. You increase your power when you don’t let someone prompt you into acting in a way you don’t like.
Can a Person Who Has Anger Problems Change?
Individuals frequently alter their behavioral habits; this is frequently the aim of treatment. Yet, those who struggle with anger management difficulties may only improve if they commit and work hard. People must be motivated to change for their own sake, not because someone else commands them.
We do not advise continuing a connection with a potentially harmful person in the hopes that they may suddenly change. Some persons with anger issues never try to change since anger issues take time to overcome. Whatever you choose, put your needs first and ask for assistance if you require it. Try speaking with a therapist who can assist you in creating a strategy if you are experiencing abuse.
The Takeaway
There is always a chance that no amount of couples therapy or confrontations with your partner could work. And if your partner’s anger reaches unspeakable heights, you may want to step back and re-evaluate staying in such a toxic relationship.
You can depend on Bohm Wildish & Matsen to provide impeccable family law services to get you to decide on how to move forward with your marriage in case you experience repeated anger from your partner and want to learn about your legal options.